![]() ![]() Even unexpected words and phrases like “You are Selfish and you only think about yourself” or “you left me alone” are examples of when you may be blaming someone else for the emotions / situation / or pain you felt.Saying words like ‘but you didn’t …’ or ‘but you then did…’.Signs you are blaming them (to avoid!) include:. It is very easy when in a conflict situation to blame the other person.Ĭonflict will be eased, and a level head sustained, if you avoid pointing the finger at the other person. #4. Maintaining Composure Tip: Avoid putting blame on the other person You may find they are just as scared as you and will be able to even better understand where they are coming from. For example purposefully leave pauses – perhaps for longer than you are used to in the conversation.įocus on truly listening to the other person’s point of view. Instead, open yourself up to feedback and vulnerability. It is therefore even more important to recognise when you are becoming defensive.Īre you finding yourself justifying your point of view? Finding reasons to support your stance? Not letting the other person get a word in edge-ways? This is defensive behaviour. When you are like this, people will always try to protect themselves when being with you. I f you have the tendency to lose your temper or flare up, people will have the notion that you are a very dangerous person or they will not be safe with you. ![]() Maintaining Composure Tip: Be vulnerable, not defensive. Ask them if this is what they mean and come from a place where you want to truly understand their perspective just for the sake of understanding – not in order to use it against them in your next breath. When you focus on understanding where the other person is coming from, let them know and test your understanding is accurate.Ī technique to do this can be to paraphrase your understanding of their point of view, and play it back to them. Others even think that understanding is more important than love! It’s key to truly try to understand what they are actually saying – not what you think they mean. Instead, its important to stay focused on what the other person is saying. When you are in a conflict situation and feeling like your emotions are getting out of control, its easy to focus on the negatives, and what is angering or upsetting you. Maintaining Composure Tip: Use words of understanding So our first tip is to make sure you are speaking in person. With any complex emotion or situation, nothing takes the place of person-to-person, face-to-face contact. These forms of communication are not only impersonal, but rarely accurately capture the correct emotions or vocal tones that can make or break a situation. When you are in a conflict situation with someone – whether it be at home or work, it’s easy to lash out on an email text message voice message messenger skype message or even with written notes. Maintaining Composure Tip: Communicate negative emotions on a personal level In this blog we explore 4 tips for maintaining composure when you need it most. So how can you keep your cool when dealing with conflict? It feels like you’re out of control and all that’s left for you to do is lose it! I think we can all agree that sometimes when you are in a confrontational situation, you can feel your buttons being pushed and the swell of emotion rise within you. Maintaining composure: Have you ever felt yourself losing your cool when you are in a conflict situation? Maintaining Composure – 4 tips on how to maintain composure when you feel like you’re going to lose it! ![]()
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